I have been accused of being too picky. That my standards are too high. I've been asked what it is that I'm looking for in a man, or in a Dominant, or in a mate. I've also been told that I shouldn't expect to find one that will fulfill all three positions.
I have given it much thought. I believe that character is the same, no matter which arena I choose to look, whether it be as a man, as a Dominant, or as a mate. I was once asked to make a piece of art that stated the nine qualities of a gentleman as stated by Confucius. After pondering them, I believe that he was right. So, those are the qualities that I seek. And if I do not ever find them, then I am happy with my on company.
Those qualities are:
1. When observing, see clearly.
2. When listening, to hear distinctly.
3. In his expression, to be open to knowledge and understanding.
4. In his attitude, to be deferential.
5. In his speech, to be loyal.
6. In his duty, to be respectful.
7. When in doubt, to be questioning.
8. When angered, to deliberate on the consequences of anger.
9. When having gained an advantage, to consider whether it is appropriate and fair.
Does such a person actually exist? A true gentleman?
Melonie
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Discoveries
When one decides to explore a part of themselves, it can sometimes be joyful and sometimes not. As I think back over the last 10+ years, I realize that I have learned a lot of truths during this journey of self discovery. Some have given me the strength to continue, while others have greatly saddened me. I suppose the most important thing to remember is that I need to apply these lessons learned. Oh, and also that even an old broad can learn a lot!
On this journey, I have discovered:
that giving up control doesn't mean giving up my brain.
that I can't make someone love me. And, if they don't, I am still a valuable person.
that trust and respect have to be earned, not demanded or expected, both by me and by others.
that the trust that took so long to build, can be destroyed in an instant.
that it isn't WHAT I have, but WHO I am that really counts.
that being dishonest is really just cheating myself.
that comparing myself to other submissives accomplishes nothing.
that what happens to me is not as important as what I do about it.
that decisions I make in an instant, good or bad, can impact the rest of my life.
that it's never too late to explore who I am.
that I really do enjoy my own company.
that it is often easier to react than to think.
that even if someone treats me badly, I am still responsible for my own actions.
that heroes are people who do what's right or necessary, even though they are afraid.
that being submissive intensifies the joy, but it also intensifies the heartache.
that money is NOT the way to keep score.
that hurting is usually the first step to healing.
that forgiving gets easier with practice.
that much of being submissive is just plain ol' good manners.
that being angry doesn't mean it's ok to be cruel.
that growing up has more to do with what you've experienced than how old you are.
that families take care of you, love you, and teach you to trust again, even if they aren't related to you.
that sometimes it's more important to forgive yourself than to be forgiven by others.
that I have something valuble to offer, no matter what the world, an abuser, or someone that's supposed to love me has to say about it.
that being submissive doesn't mean I deserve less respect.
that the world doesn't stop, no matter how badly my heart is broken.
that when I'm honest with myself, I will be more successful in life.
that "pain" is a relative term.
that obedience usually makes me happier and means less time in the corner. :)
Melonie
On this journey, I have discovered:
that giving up control doesn't mean giving up my brain.
that I can't make someone love me. And, if they don't, I am still a valuable person.
that trust and respect have to be earned, not demanded or expected, both by me and by others.
that the trust that took so long to build, can be destroyed in an instant.
that it isn't WHAT I have, but WHO I am that really counts.
that being dishonest is really just cheating myself.
that comparing myself to other submissives accomplishes nothing.
that what happens to me is not as important as what I do about it.
that decisions I make in an instant, good or bad, can impact the rest of my life.
that it's never too late to explore who I am.
that I really do enjoy my own company.
that it is often easier to react than to think.
that even if someone treats me badly, I am still responsible for my own actions.
that heroes are people who do what's right or necessary, even though they are afraid.
that being submissive intensifies the joy, but it also intensifies the heartache.
that money is NOT the way to keep score.
that hurting is usually the first step to healing.
that forgiving gets easier with practice.
that much of being submissive is just plain ol' good manners.
that being angry doesn't mean it's ok to be cruel.
that growing up has more to do with what you've experienced than how old you are.
that families take care of you, love you, and teach you to trust again, even if they aren't related to you.
that sometimes it's more important to forgive yourself than to be forgiven by others.
that I have something valuble to offer, no matter what the world, an abuser, or someone that's supposed to love me has to say about it.
that being submissive doesn't mean I deserve less respect.
that the world doesn't stop, no matter how badly my heart is broken.
that when I'm honest with myself, I will be more successful in life.
that "pain" is a relative term.
that obedience usually makes me happier and means less time in the corner. :)
Melonie
Thursday, March 12, 2009
When the fat lady sings.....
"It isn't over till the fat lady sings!"
Is that true? How does one really know when it's over? When one has been owned, do you ever get back every piece of yourself, when it ends?
I thought every piece was back, some in shreds, but all present and accounted for.
Its especially easy to think so when the former Owner is no longer there, when there is no contact over the course of years. When the Voice is never heard, the heart doesn't race in response anymore. When there is no touch of his hand, shivers are no longer felt down the spine. When there are no commands, there is no fear of his displeasure.
And so it goes. The once-owned is lulled into a sense of complacency, convinced it is over. Enough time has passed and the searing hurt has faded into a dull soreness.
Until, out of the blue, contact is made.
Denial screams through the brain, saying "This dance is over and won't happen again." It's over.
The heart, however, laughs at the once-owned, even as the word "NO!!" springs from the lips. And the ear listens, straining for the sound of the fat lady singing.
Melonie
Is that true? How does one really know when it's over? When one has been owned, do you ever get back every piece of yourself, when it ends?
I thought every piece was back, some in shreds, but all present and accounted for.
Its especially easy to think so when the former Owner is no longer there, when there is no contact over the course of years. When the Voice is never heard, the heart doesn't race in response anymore. When there is no touch of his hand, shivers are no longer felt down the spine. When there are no commands, there is no fear of his displeasure.
And so it goes. The once-owned is lulled into a sense of complacency, convinced it is over. Enough time has passed and the searing hurt has faded into a dull soreness.
Until, out of the blue, contact is made.
Denial screams through the brain, saying "This dance is over and won't happen again." It's over.
The heart, however, laughs at the once-owned, even as the word "NO!!" springs from the lips. And the ear listens, straining for the sound of the fat lady singing.
Melonie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)