Whoaa! Not only am I a bad blogger, I had forgotten all about this blog. When I discovered it again, I realized it's been going for 10 years. As I read through it, I realized how much my life has changed over those years. How?
It has been several years since I've been in a relationship, vanilla or d/s. In fact, I hardly remember the last time I played. Does that sadden me? In some ways, it does. However, I have learned to live with it. I like my own company. I have a fulfilling job. I still participate in my local bdsm community as a part of the leadership team of the same group I have been part of since nearly its beginning.
I have learned to channel my need to serve in other, more vanilla channels. I pour my self into my students. I now have grandchildren. I don't see them often due to the distance that they live from me. All of my children live from one end of the country to the other. I suppose some would think I'm lonely, but I don't usually feel that way. My life is very full.
Thankfully, the debilitating depression has truly gone. It hasn't reared its ugly head for years. I am diligent in monitoring myself for signs of its return. Anytime I see signs of it, I take immediate action.
So, if this is all there is, it is enough.
M.
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