Yes, I have actually survived the war. The war in my head, actually. I finally decided that I am "all in". If it means I get hurt, that is a risk I am willing to take.
Well, miracle of miracles, everything seems to be working out. The play time is better than ever. But, more importantly, we are realizing just how compatible we really are. Not just in the bdsm arena, but in vanilla life as well. We really do like spending vanilla time together.
This is even more amazing when considering some of the obstacles. The biggest one? There is a significant age difference between us. No, not him being a lot older than me. It is, in fact, the reverse. I am a lot older than him. This was a serious concern for both of us in the beginning, but we have both realized that we are old enough to be grown-ups and enjoy our differences in perspective.
A second obstacle is the difference in experience in this-thing-we-do. I have been involved with real life bdsm for going on 15 years. He, on the other hand, has less than 2 years under his belt. I would have never guessed it, but he really is new at this! At no time have I felt like I was "instructing" him.
Lastly, I identify most strongly as submissive, while he identifies most strongly as sadist. It has taken work on both our parts to bridge the differences. He fulfills that need I have for dominance, while I am learning just how much of a masochist I really am.
The bottom line is that we are willing to work at this, very hard. And it's paying off.
I know that at any time, either of us may decide that this isn't working anymore. In the meantime, I'm enjoying the ride!
Melonie
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